feelings.events.memories

not that all things in my life are dead and gloomy right now, but it would be so easy to relate it to be as much. like how i seem to be going forward at times, but yet when i look at the square i'm stepping on, it seems to shout out the same figure. or with the much that i've amassed over the past few months, with the many directions and signposts that God has painfully (or meticulously) constructed in my way, i have chosen once again, to turn my face away.

like the much quoted saying "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes"

what are we doing about it?  (not the taxes bit of course.)

its uncanny how God places situations and people in our life, so that we may see His will more clearly and likewise see our own flaws and blemishes. thinking back it seemed impossible, or even worse improbable, that we should (or can) be sinners, proud, and nice to other people and stuff like that. we always were quick to point out the flaws in people, and think that by avoiding those same flaws alone, would render us "clean", in whatever ways our sinful nature would want us to presume ourselves to be.

however. what does this mean? can i wallow myself in self-pity, and allow myself to be consumed by it? God-forbid. that i maybe become either numb or oblivious to grace. surely i will face implications for my thoughts and actions, its a no-

brainer, a cause and effect thing. if you do something wrong, you get punished. period. but only grace can save us. only grace can save us all from this mire.

constantly falling back into sin is the most, low point for me. its like you are shooting yourself in the foot when you have armed your pistol to defend yourself against your enemy. you know what is wrong, you know what you are doing is wrong, but you just can't control and discipline yourself. a terrible lack of self-control and sinful desire doesn't really help. however, despite all this, though undeserving i maybe. the grace and calling, will be effective for all, (who believe)

two things to remember.

1. remember the gospel. (in all things i do)

2. remember to smell the roses.

Note: After the Captain's Ball today, there was a pretty cool rainbow in the sky, which reminded me of the kick-ass rainbow i saw in Washington DC.

 

(photo taken of Sarah who looked so happy prancing in the drizzle under the rainbow) 

(the sky was a sullen yellow colour which just was magnificent. no other word to describe it)